"HELP MY STUPID BOYFRIEND IS GETTING BETWEEN ME AND MY VIDEO GAMES!" I feel the same way, sometimes, sweetie. You'll just have to get used to it. Or, you know...kick him off the computer so you can play SSX3. I took this screenshot like two hours ago and all ready I've forgotten what I was going to caption it. Probably something about him watching Tara play video games and getting sexually aroused by it. Or something. Anyway, since he wasn't getting any lovin' from Tara or the computer, he decided to find it elsewhere. Look at him, struttin' to the taxi. Damon left football practise in a hurry, eager to hang out with his goth friends. He knew they would never accept him if they knew he was a jock, which hurt him deep down. The carpool drove off, and Damon dropped his shoulderpads and began drawing on his tattoos with a sharpie. Tonight was the night, nothing could go wrong... ...but as he walked into the club, Damon couldn't help but feel as though he'd forgotten something... Back to the story: Dreaming of how kissable she will be when he's through with her, Caedmon gives Meadow Akagi a makeover. Cute! Since Caedmon's turn-ons are brown hair and glasses, he should be all over her, now. "Oh, gee...should I really be flirting with other girls? Won't that hurt Tara's feelings?" *FACEPALM* This is Angel Go. She and Caed also have two bolts. And as much as I respect the estrogen-hawk, it's gotta go. Much better. "Wanna go on a date?" "Sure!" "I totally beat Through The Fire And Flame on Expert! I was like: meedly meedly meedly meedly WEEEEER!" I'd screw someone who could play DragonForce on expert, too. I think his hair looks cute! Uh...what? Ah, I guess that was the pre-swoon crunchup. He REALLY doesn't want to get married. You mean it wasn't love at first air guitar? Anyway, I totally remembered that I had 11k to spend, so here's their nice new house. Complete with a sandbox! Closeup of the sandbox! Baby room and master bedroom. Their gorgeous kitchen/dining area. Their AWESOME naked girl table. And look! A real bathroom! Someone else got remodeled, too! I was sick of not seeing the ears, but I didn't want to change the hair. :D "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS. ;____;" Don't know what she's bitching about, I think she's adorable. So immediately after coming home, Caedmon starts working his mojo. Again... ...And again... ...And again! Seriously, they followed each other around the house for TWO HOURS "Kissing Lightly" and "Hugging Romantically" and "Making Out." And then he fell in love with her, lol. "I worked hard to earn us this bed." "Spatula." It doesn't take much to woo Caedmon, I guess. Caedmon wanted to buy new clothes, and Tara could have used a new outfit (hers wasn't bad, but boo on you, Maxis), so he went out! "We could totally have sex!" Good icebreaker. But sadly, she was more interested in the *~*aZn b0i*~*, so Caed went to woo other women. "OH MY GOD, THERE'S A GHOST ON YOUR BOOBS!" "Yucky." He gagged over like every girl there. So finally I had him scope the room. KITTY MINK HAS REACHED CRITICAL MASS. As you can see, he's trying really hard to get in her pants. Mink: No spatula for YOU! Caed: ;____________;!!! "Oh yeah, I was gonna buy clothes, huh." "Bitch wouldn't give me any spatula. That's fine. I got a woman at home who will give me spatula." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. 3 cooking points... 8 cooking points. NOM NOM NOM. She got dressed out of the shower, and look what happened to her glasses!! :OOO I fixed them, though. She paints a lot. 'DORABLE. tl;dr: She got 10,000! Happy day! Heehee, the ears. I thought this picture was adorable. ...I'm weird, aren't I. "I want to make FRIENDS! TAKE ME OUT!" So yeah, I figured I could try her LTW ;-;. So I sent her downtown. Please note that she is thin in this picture, because it becomes important later. OOPS WHAT COULD THAT MEAN. Also, man...that is a seriously thin stiletto heel. You know what ISN'T seriously thin? She was thin when she got INTO the taxi...when she got out, she was fat. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE TAXI!?! First order of business: Be the DJ. Second order of business: Sing karaoke. I think someone is a Pleasure sim in disguise. Finally we get to talking to people. This guy was like "UGH I HATE SKIING" and left. Also, if you don't recognize the venue, it's because I made it myself! I call it "the perfect place to find mates!" There's no restaurant, so you don't have to wait for a womb/sperm donor to stop eating to talk to them, there's no Wheel Of Fun thing so that your sims' wants get caught up with that. No card tables to lose money at...but there is karaoke, a bar, dancing, a makeover chair, hot tubs, photobooths, a swimming pool, some Bon Voyage food bars, and TwoJeff's FindAMate ball! I love it. Meet Ben Tse. He and Tara have THREE BOLTS of attraction. He likes them Independent Women. She just likes him. THREE BOLTS. I almost want to give her up to him. After all, Caedmon could find someone else, couldn't he? Oh, yeah, she's pregnant. Right. >.> Crud. It breaks my heart, because she obviously worships him. It took her seriously less than 30 sim minutes to crush. No ACR involved. Luckily, she rolled the want to prank him. I guess he doesn't have a sense of humour. There is so much happening right here that I'm not even gonna touch this one. I had to keep her talking to other people constantly, because if I didn't, ACR kept making her run for the photobooth. DON'T DO IT, TARA. DON'T BREAK CAEDMON'S HEART! Also, cute face. I decided Bill (Ben? Bill? Let's say Bill) could have a makeover. "UGH YOU MADE ME SO UGLY I HATE YOU." what. "DO I LOOK LIKE I LIKE STATIC X?!" Finally she got it right. Maybe you can be in the legacy later... LIGHTBULB HAT CUDDLING. See how happy Tara is? She's glad she didn't cheat on Caed. Yay! Go Tara! After long inner debates considering what onomatopeioa (how the hell do you spell that?!) word would be considered "dorky" enough to replace the obligatory "POP," I've decided to go with: ZZORT. You know...like...lazer guns? I was gonna do a lightsaber kind of thing, but "whummmm whummmm KSSSH!" was a little long. She's still painting, btw. "OH! Someone sent me a love letter!" Yeah...they sure did...*coughcough* With Caedmon at work, I thought it would be fun for Tara to invite over some girls and they could all play some Vampire: The Masquerade (everyone knows it's D&D for girls). This girl, henceforth known as The Brightest Candle, immediately picked up Mr. Kupo and left the house... ...To walk all the way around it, and then complain that she couldn't get to Tara through the wall. The party was getting a bad score, so it was time to make some fun! Meanwhile, Caed came home from work, recycled the paper, did the dishes...and while he was cleaning their house, where was his girlfriend? Throwing water balloons at other people. Unfair. But he would turn out to suck at water balloons anyway. Uma Chan's got the smooth moves! Everyone was laughing and playing, plusses all around! And then... Right. "Oh, hello boyfriend type. Let me welcome you home from work with a friendly handshake." BZZZARP! "LOLOLOLOL THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!" ilu caedmon. I got sick of his sideburns, so I got rid of them! Also, this would be him practising romance. "MWAH!" Founder portrait! HOM NOM NOM NOM! Don't worry, Caedmon hasn't abandoned his true love. Tara was getting awfully close to babytime, so I decided to make an honest woman of her. "Oooh it's so sexy when he's about to go crazy!" To keep him out of aspirational failure, I had him work his charms on the mirror in exchange for skill points. And then I remembered that they have to be MARRIED to have the kid with the right last name. "Will you take this ring to Mordor, Tara?" "I will, Caedmon. Though I do not know the way." "You have my sword, love. And my axe. And my bow. And I will journey with you until our paths end." I now pronounce you The Fellowship of the Ring man and wife. Aww. "Whoa...I don't feel so good." "HAHAHA WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE." "WHERE'S MY MOM'S BASEMENT. WHERE ARE ALL MY SMELLY GUY FRIENDS." "I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" "Zere, zere, leetle boy. Ztand up und ve vill see vhat ve can do." "Yes, Mr. Mysteriously Appearing Man." "Ah, yes, zee classic symptoms. Vell zen. Vhat do you sink vhen I say zee word "Eggs?"" "CHICKENS GO BOK BOK BOK!!" "Very good! I pronounce you, CURED!" "Gee, thank you, Doctor! I feel like a whole new man, now!" "Yeah...a very married man..." "Look, I just got married...I gotta get out of here!" So, with Tara hours away from giving birth (which Caedmon ALSO fears), they pack up and head out to Twikkii island. I'm going to regret this, I just know it.