Previously, on The Dork Legacy: [ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ] [ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 ] Last time, everyone grew up and went to college! I ran a poll to choose heir for Generation three, and! Gen 3 Heir is....

Bilbo! By a landslide.

...Oh yeah, and Bao-Dur moved back home so he could spend more time hanging out and being cool. :D

Caedmon: So, I heard you got crabs in college... Bao-Dur: ...

Bao-Dur: Oh, yeah, totally, dude!

...Uh...I thought you guys only did that kind of stuff in the pet houses.

Kill it, Miyazaki! Kill it! (Oh yeah, I remembered her name.)

In due time.

Bao-Dur: I'm playin' with my car, old man. What you got?

Sgt. Dante is rocking out.

OH GOD FINALLY. I then promptly cheated to give her the gold, because I wanted QUILTS, DAMMIT, and she was almost 80.

Since Bilbo and Bao-Dur were horrendously rushed through college, they didn't have a lot of time for the ladies. So I sent them to a community lot!

She was really hot, but unfortunately when I built the counters, I fenced her in. ;-; So no one could talk to her.

RedHead: Right...there! Yes! Eet ees perfect! Zombie: *brrraaaaains*

I like to make my lots have romantic options. So that if I'm gonna cheat, I have to wait for the lot to load, first.

This is Shelby Haggerty. She'd a red-headed two-bolter. Which is a winner in my book!

Meanwhile, Bao-Dur has scampered off to get fat.

He's got it bad for Cadence Chen, here. I decided I would let the two of them race, and whoever bagged their spouse first would be the one to get to reproduce.

She liked her makeover, which was a good start! But...then she left. Sorry, Bao-Dur...but since you didn't like anyone else in the place, there's no way you were gonna beat Bilbo. But you'll be a kick-ass single uncle anyway. :D

If you whistle, your face will get stuck like that.

Bilbo: Hey baby! Add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and let's multiply!

Shelby: Oh GOD that stunk. Bilbo: No...no, see, it's funny, because all those terms were relating to mathematics, and I cleverly took them and turned them into a sexual innuendo! :D

Shelby: Heehee, oh I get it! <3

Bao-Dur: OOGIE OOGIE OOH!

Shelby: *crushes* Red Haired Townie: Hey guys, can I play, too?

Ah, karaoke, the time honoured Dork mating tradition.

I felt like maybe you needed reminding that Bilbo is hot.

And adorable.

Bilbo: HAPPY TARUTARU DANCE!

Just...lol. Also, for some reason, her manic expression totally screams "Dakota Fanning" to me.

Shelby: Oooh! Ooh, no, no touchy.

Shelby: Don't touch my chastity belt. ;-;

Shelby: OW! OW MY FOOT! Bilbo: omgosh I'm so sorry! ;-; *worryworry*

Shelby: YOU STEPPED ON MY FOOT. Bilbo: imsosorryplzdonthurtme;-;

I think she forgave him.

Bilbo: I...I gotta hug a girl? What if I get cooties?

...but this is okay.

Shelby: You're like my best friend! :D Bilbo: We've only known each other two hours...but cool! *plusplus* Zombie: *brrraaaaainsss*

Wow, a real prostitute! Run her over, you can get her money!

This is what the house across the street looks like. Nice, huh.

Bilbo: HEY BUDDY HOW ARE YA NICE TA SEE YA AGAIN! *shakes her violently*

Why do I always take so long to notice the funny nose? But, TO HELL WITH IT, I love Shelby and am not afraid of her teensy tiny nose!

Bilbo: LOOOOVE HAS FOUND ME! AND I HAVE FOUND THE WAY! Shelby: *He's loud.* Seriously, if anyone did this to me in real life, especially in public, that would be an automatic MINUSMINUS.

Bilbo: Oh, hey, while I'm down here... Shelby: *falls in love*

Shelby: Eh, it's good enough.

Sweetness!

And butt-grabbing!

I was gonna be like "Ugh, another Knowledge sim"...but after seeing her wants, I think we'll be okay. Also, though I lack a picture of it, ALL of Bilbo's wants at this exact moment had to do with skill-building. I love aspiration switching.

Shelby ~~becomes my favourite~~ gets a makeover.

Seriously, I am so in love with her. <333

Shelby: OMG SCIENCE SCIENCE AWESOME I LOVE SCIENCE THANKS GOD FOR LETTING ME DO SCIENCE. ps - thanks, GladOS, for the phrase "do science." It is my favourite.

Bao-Dur: It as if gas demons from hell are trailblazing their way out through my mouth! *BEEEELLLLCHHH* Seriously, he looks so concerned. He also looks suspiciously like a Grilled Cheese sim in this picture.

I guess her chastity belt wasn't locked too tightly. Or Bilbo is a Rogue with a +10 to his Open Lock skill.

THAT IS A DAMN LIE, BILBO.

Shelby: Welp! Off to another day as a highly ranked doctor! Sweet.

Bao-Dur: I must! I must! I must decrease my gut!

Success!

You...WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!? Seriously, who wrote that pop-up?

This picture is to illustrate their difference in heights! :D I used SimPE to permanently stretchskeleton them! Shelby is 5'6" and Bilbo is 6'2".

Bao-Dur: OMG WHAT STRANGE HUMAN RITUALS ARE THOSE TWO UNDERGOING?!

Doll: *is creepy* Miyazaki: *is huge*

Caedmon still hasn't given it up, if you were wondering.

Cute!

Yay! Bilbo's LTW, here we come!

This picture gets worse when you watched Einstein and Caedmon race to the bed. >.<

Peeves, stop playing the computer.

This was just cute.

And now I present: The shortest vacation EVER!

Their lovely vacation home! That I built!

It has a treehouse!

And some tents!

Bilbo: OH HO HO HO WE SURE ARE HUGGING EACH OTHER!

I didn't get as many pictures as I should have...but ALL the Three Lakes vacationies that stopped by had the ASIAN face templates. THANKS MAXIS.

Why always the zombie skin? Why?

But man...that's an awesome name.

Aubrey Larson is pretty hot for an old lady.

Log rolling! Man...is it just me, or does that water REALLY look unclean?

Shelby: What if they get hurt? *worry worry* Spam time, since I'm too lazy to caption all of these:

End spam.

Shelby: Oh no! Oh no!

<3333 I was GOING to make this the teaser picture for this update...until the end of the update happened. *FORESHADOWING*

Teen: And sometimes I cry! Like this!

Bilbo: That's a pretty good sad impression!

Back at home, Bilbo and Bao-Dur take a nap together. Aww.

And Shelby began some spaghetti, but was interrupted by me ending the vacation because for some reason my game was being all wonky, and I'm iffy about saving while my sims are on vacation.

Zzort!

I think Shelby is the first SIM to get the "pregnant woman glow." :P

Shelby: I'd like a boat.

Willoughby: lol did you know boats fly?

Two of my favouritest sims ever. <33

Bilbo: My...my brother is blue! ...You're not the sharpest crayon in the basket, are you?

Shelby: Hey guys. What's going on in here?

Oh yeah! I'd almost forgotten!

Miyazaki: BWAHAHA! THOSE HUMANS WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!

This is a boy, Filcher (as in, Ethereal Filcher).

And this is a girl, Lillend. Both are named for D&D monsters.

Kittens!

The proud parents. Man, I can't wait to see what these kittens look like. So...some of you may have seen my post in thesims2 community. If so, you all ready know what's going to happen. Somewhat. Prepare for lots of capslock.

It would figure, that the FIRST fire of this legacy is a HUGE one. Bao-Dur was out sleeping in the tent, when lightning caught some trees on fire. Which then caught a tent on fire. Bao-Dur, brave man that he is, started putting it out.

And then...caught fire HIMSELF.

SAVE HIM, CAEDMON. DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE.

YEAH A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT THANKS.

Bao-Dur...why can I see through you?!

NO BAO-DUR NOOOO!!!! SAVE HIM, SOMEONE!

NOT THE TIME THANK YOU.

Willoughby: Wtf is this shit?

FUCK YOU DEMON DOG. I HOPE YOU CATCH FIRE.

Willoughby: OH GOD NOW I'M ON FIRE. Me: OH GOD NO NOT WILLOUGHBY! Firewoman: I'm sorry, did you say you were a friar? Me: SHUT UP AND PUT HER OUT.

Willoughby: Oh, phew. Me: Oh, phew. Firewoman: I'LL SAVE YOU!

Willoughby: OH GOD I'M ON FIRE AGAIN! Caedmon: *extinguishes* Paper Girl: Hey guys, I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm the new paper girl in this area... Firewoman: I helped! :D

Einstein: OH GOD, I AM ALSO NOW ON FIRE. Me: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE PLEAD FOR BAO-DUR?!

Me:

NO SHELBY NOOOO!

Shelby: I bet this warmth is good for my baby! :D

Me: OH GOD OH GOD EVERYONE'S ON FIRE. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE END OF THE LEGACY BECAUSE EVERYONE'S ON FIRE!

Firewoman: *stands there* Let's see...what was I gonna do...Ugh, I know I'm forgetting something... Me: MAYBE YOU WERE GONNA PUT OUT THE FIRE?! Eventually I made her selectable and FORCED her to do her job.

I also tried to send Shelby far, far away from the fire, but this was as far as she got before she dropped her queue to freak out about the fire. It's okay, at least you're safe in here.

Me: OH GOD NO NOT TARA TOO!!! TAKE CAEDMON INSTEAD! TARAAA!

HK-47 finally shows his true colours.

PLEAD WITH HIM! PLEAD! But...if you read my entry, for some godforsaken reason, the reaper was unselectable to ANYONE for the ENTIRE fiasco. ;-;

Willoughby and Vanessa: Ew, Caedmon smells. Me: I THINK THERE ARE BIGGER ISSUES AT HAND HERE, PEOPLE.

Firewoman: I'LL SAVE YOU. Einstein: Who are you saving? There's not even a fire there anymore.

Paper Girl: Hey, so what's going on back here? Barbecue? Me: >[

ASDSFHJKIRLEGK!!!! SHE WAS PLATINUM!!! WHY IS HER GRAVE DUMB?!

Shelby: So...er...my grandmother in law and brother in law just died in a fire...oh, and my cat ran away. ;-; Help? OH GOD. That's all I've played so far because I was SO PISSED OFF that I just couldn't take it anymore. ;-; WHY OF ALL PEOPLE?!!? So, sorry to end this on such a catastrophic note, but like I said, that's all I've got. Next update: Hopefully the Dorks pick up the pieces, Miyazaki will return to care for her kittens, and babies should probably be born. ;-; But without a cool kick-ass shirtless uncle. ;___;