Hello, hello, one and all! It is I, /, and guest writer of this here update! It was actually the original plan to have to me write a POTTS update, but after and I harassed Katu into going back through every single one of her Potts pictures individually and saving them as smaller files so I could actually SEE them *is on dial*up* she was inspired to write for them. And not wanting to do takesies-backsies on the guest-writing offer, I was given the Dorks for a Day! Hope you don't hate it too much *shuffles into a corner to avoid the rotten tomatoes and heads of lettuce that are bound to be thrown in her direction* xD Note From Katu: was incredibly kind to help me with this, especially considering that she doesn't actually know any of my sims, and had large amounts of Henry spam to sift through and attempt to be funny to. XD Also in new news is the fact that Nett and Steffi ~~beat me senseless~~ kindly instructed me in the ways of Smaller File Size, so rather than each update being approximately 20MB of pictures, it's now closer to 4MB. Woo hoo! Anyway, on with the update!

Henry: My god, I am GORGEOUS! How could the world be so cruel as to give this face and this body to just one man? To think of all the poor, sad, less attractive people out there who are walking around without smexy elf ears because they were given to me... *woe*

Henry: Heh. Suckers.

Henry: *flaunts his irresistibility and teases the ladies*

Henry: Did you get all that? I hope you got all those. The ladies need to see my smoldering musician soul.

Perfection. ^_^

Symphony Hawk: *accompanies soulfully and has an awesome name*

Other dudes: *get passing notice*

Oh yes, the ladies are quite fond of Henry in all his shirtless wonder. Or they could be there for the music. But I doubt it.

Harker: *strokes invisible beard* *tries to move cue balls with her mind*

Darn. She had to resort to actually using the cue. Surely it will produce better results than her mind powers, though?

Or not.

HALF-WAY DONE!!! And they both made it on the Dean's List! The win is strong!

For Henry and Harker, anyway. Bald Guy: Man! Standing in a pool of someone else's urine is SMELLY! Pink Bathrobe Girl: You don't think he knows it's mine, do you?

N'awww. We like Ms. Hawk.

Smelly dormies who eat outside of the designated eating area, not so much. :P

Henry: *makes out with self* As radiant as ever, self! Good work being sexy!

Hovering Chick: GREAT job being sexy! *fans self*

Henry: O RLY??? I am intrigued by this reaction!

Henry: Though not intrigued enough to stay in the bedroom with you. LATER!

Nefarious Cow: *sobs uncontrollably* AM I TO BE FOREVER TRAPPED IN THIS BATHING ROOM OF THE FAIRER SEX? I only came for a quick shower... maybe a little looksy-loo... BUT NOW THE DOOR WON'T LET ME OUT. EVEN WHEN ITS OPEN. Damn force fields...

Nefarious Achilles: And why are there no beds in here? I mean HONESTLY. What kind of bathroom is this?

Nefarious Achilles: *magically appears outside* *heads STRAIGHT FOR THE EXIT* You're lucky you have a benevolent Sim!God, mister, or you would have been trapped in there 4EVAS.

Henry: Even in the morning, I am breathtakingly ravishing! No bed-head, no pillow dents... PURE PERFECTION! *marvels at reflection*

Pink Bathrobe Girl: OH MY GOD I PEED MY ROBE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!!

Pink Bathrobe Girl: Wait... no. It was just a dream. A horrible, horrible dream.

Pink Bathrobe Girl: *dozes back off to sleep, comforted by this knowledge* ...should we tell her?

Useful dormie!

Useless dormie!

Poor Face-Painted Girl: Why are they all staring at me?? I'm not the one collapsed and smelly on the floor! MAKE THEM STOP LOOKING AT ME! *wibble*

Poor Face-Painted Girl: Hey look everyone! That guy is smelly! Everyone: Nice try, loser! We know its you! *shun* Poor Face-Painted Girl: Well, crap.

Why yes, yes we would, Mariah. How nice of you to ask.

Hmm... interesting.

Ooooo! Interesting! Also, very fitting name.

Henry thinks so too. Pink + red = GOOD IDEA, apparently.

What? What is this nonsense?? WHO COULD POSSIBLY REJECT /THE/ HENRY???

No one. That's who.

Absolutely NO ONE. EVER. ANYWHERE.

Henry: *is fawned over* Mariah: *makes new social contacts*

Orrrrr not.

If he keeps this up, Henry is going to begin thinking he's God's gift to women. Hmmph. He may be dashing, but he's certainly no--

WHAT? HE IS??? HOLY CRAP! I'm so sorry, Henry! Forgive me! I'll do anything! I'll--

Oh. Nvm then. Just ignore me.

Ginger: *basks in the glittery glowiness of magic*

OR SO SHE WOULD LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE! She is really basking in the hotness that is Henry. We should have known.

Yeah, I'll bet you had an 'absolute blast'. And I'll bet even more that Henry would be quite willing to invite you ALL to a "group outing". *eyebrow waggle*

This is either a "thank you for not sleeping me" present, in which case BURN, or she REALLY likes to watch. >_>

My my my... the conquests never end.

Wowza. Bagged yourself a winner, there Henry

At least she's pretty? xD

Yes, Henry. You're pretty too. We haven't forgotten.

Henry: How do they stay standing doing that??? Poor Face-Painted Girl: Ball of Stink, stop following me! People are going to think we're together! I'm not that kind of girl. Find someone else to dote upon! Ugh.

Non-sexytiemz socialization, Henry?? Why I'm surprised! Amazed, even. ASTOUNDED. Never thought of good clean fun as being your style before. And I'm most pleased that this dormie had the sense of mind to administer a mini-bath after you two smacked each other with fish. We can't have our Henry smelling of trout!

So mindful, our Henry. Making sure his teeth are all nice and sparkly before locking faces with the ladies. That's his real secret, you know. Not killer abs or smexy elf ears, its proper dental hygiene. The girls go weak in the knees for his pearly whites.

Well those pearly whites need to be captured on film, yes? Yeah, I thought so. This lovely ladies are just ensuring that process. Mmhmm. Yup. Just doing their part to ensure all future generation can marvel at Henry's beauty.

Ohnoes! Kinda-Pretty Dormie is meeting her demise!!! Wait! Surely Henry has a fairly high relationship with her, right? They did... bond over breakfast. Quick, get Henry to save her!

Henry: It was a GOOD breakfast, too. 3-egg omelet with freshly diced tomatoes and basil? Mmm... I could really go for one of those again. *pats belly contentedly*

Ah! Henry! Hurry! She's wasting away!

Henry: Heee! Bubbles! Aw man... now I have the munchies even more!

Harker: *sighs sadly* Such a pity... I barely knew her, but she was always nice to be. She lent me her socks once. They were warm, and had little dancing Santas on them.

Kinda-Pretty Dormie Adeline: *finishes dying* Everyone In The Dorm Except Henry: *mourns* Henry: *blows bubbles and ignores his practically-a-best-friend's last moments*

Wow. What a crappy wake for Kinda-Pretty Dormie Adeline. At least Henry attended THAT? Sort of. Because he has some sort of creepy magnetism that makes everyone hover around him? O_o

Great. The munchies are spreading. >_>

But hey, at least she's not a STARVING artist. She has cookies. I wish *I* had cookies. ... *goes off to get some cookies*

And there you have it! XD Next time, GENERATION EIGHT, AND A RETURN TO PROPER DECIMALS! Finally, as an epilogue:

Here is what happens when you set the whole The Sims 2/ folder to be compressorized. It's sexy.

OMG, LIVE AND WORK IN THE USA? FUCKING SIGN ME UP!